There is a moment in our cozy office, cup of coffee in hand, while meeting with a new couple when the inevitable question arises. Up until this point we’ve been laughing, and getting to know each other just a little bit as they tell me their engagement story or how they met. We’ve been looking at our albums, perhaps talking about prices and timelines, contracts, and dates, but I know the question is coming. One may look at the other and I can see the little hint of nervousness as they finally pose the question:

“So, how does this work? The engagement session, I mean. We aren’t really experienced taking photos or anything so…do you pose us or what?”

I know that our couples have seen beautiful images en masse as they have searched for which photographer best fits them. I know that they are secretly wondering if they will have the result they want, or achieve something close to that creative Pinterest shot they saw. They are wondering if the large amount of money they are paying to a photographer will be worth it.

Even now, after years of doing photography, I still get a fit of nerves before having our own family photos taken. Let us all be perfectly honest for a moment and recognize none of us really like seeing ourselves in photos. The Internet is full of selfie jokes about the number of times it takes us to get the look we want before posting. We are insanely self-critical. It is human nature.

I have a standing cliché joke with couples while working with them on shoots. Every time I sense there is a moment of awkwardness in what I am having them do I sarcastically say “What? You don’t stand like this all the time at home?” They can sense that perhaps they look a little silly and I have no problem poking fun at that with them, because I get it.

So what is the answer? This is the part where as an experienced photographer, I tell you how my easy going style will make you forget all of your woes in an instant, right? In reality it is not so simple.

For us we have taken personal experiences both in front and behind the camera and have found that our approach changes with every couple we meet. Every couple has their own notions and tendencies and it is a personal challenge for us to find what helps them fall into a natural rhythm. Sure we have a staple of techniques to try and we certainly direct and coach throughout the photo session, but the real secret to working with a couple on an engagement shoot is trust, practice, and patience.

The trust factor comes from seeing that we’ve done this a zillion other times and we won’t simply throw you off in the deep end without a lifeline. We get to know our couples because we love it, and it gives us insight as to what is important to them. Believe it or not, as a session progresses even the most self-conscious couples begin to do something amazing, they pose themselves! The further we get into a session the less we find ourselves setting the scene so to speak. This is what we consider “practice.” Really this is not really practice at all. It is simply having a couple interact together and reminding them that they really like each other quite a bit, hence the getting married. Once the initial oddness of being in front of a camera dissipates, the rest becomes quite easy. This is where the patience comes in. Looking for the best moments, the ones that couple’s coo over when they finally see their images takes some patience. A photo session dynamic is like a bell curve. There will be a moment where the magic seems to peak and some great things happen. Now of course we want the entire session to be great, but there is no doubt that a certain sweet spot occurs somewhere after the nerves have settled and before taking photos for an hour or two gets really tiring. That will be about the time you see us acting like crazy people as we’re jumping all over clicking the shutter.

So no, you’re probably not a model. That’s actually the way we like it. We love the real people, the ones who kinda dread taking photos. That may sound strange, but from the genuine, down to earth people come the absolute best images, and the best times.